no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Randomize