1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize