Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
