I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm too high and old for this...
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
