You're a womanizer and a bitch.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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