Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
