i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
