I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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