So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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