What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
