I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
