Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
