Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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