My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
