how can u be prego again
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
