in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
