You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
