In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
