im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I need water and some morals
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
