She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
