I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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