My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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