He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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