I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
