TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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