I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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