You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize