a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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