Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
