we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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