1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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