his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
