i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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