So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
