North Korea, Best Korea!
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
