physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
