he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
