I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
