It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
