My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
