is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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