Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
