whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize