My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
The feeling are messing with the penis
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize