How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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