Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
and you fell through a lawn chair
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize