he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
