What did we do last night that was yellow?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Is it penis luge time yet?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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