our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Randomize
