im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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