Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
