My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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