An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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