ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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