nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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