tell your sister to shave her snatch
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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