I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
