Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
babies were throwing up all over the place
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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