My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
