I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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