Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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