i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
