we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
