i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
