I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
