was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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