I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I deserve to be covered in dicks
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Randomize
