I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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