Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
