Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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