This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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