TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
