have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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