Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
