we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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