either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She bit a glass in half.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
