Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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