and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
