i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Randomize
