Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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