My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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