Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
