i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
