Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I looked at my own cervix.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
