3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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