DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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