you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize