How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
We need to get me chipped asap
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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