i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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