Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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